Resilience-a counsellors perspective

Todays children

After engaging with teenagers for many years now, it has occurred to me that something quite fundamental is missing in their psyche.

I don’t believe that our teenagers  have been  taught how to be RESILIENT! This of course begins when they are very young. I believe that the lack of resilience is based on the increasing numbers of children being anxious and parents/teachers and society as a whole are not sure how to deal with it.

It is so easy, and sometimes seems so necessary, to do what pleases our anxious little people that we forget that we rob them of ever hearing the word NO!

So when our teens develop without a great deal of resilience, and life says NO to them (NO to passing an exam, NO to the continuing of a relationship or No to getting the job they wished for) they haven’t a history of being resilient to fall back on, and therefore react very badly, as their resilient-muscle hasn’t been exercised and isn’t strong.

Being a teenager is hard enough! There are countless movies and books written about it-can you imagine how debilitating it is to then have to deal with the realisation that not everything in life is going to go your way!

Your children wont thank you straight away for teaching them to be resilient but they will eventually-and so will their chosen partners in life!

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